Tłumaczenie: The Calling ("Toki"), fragment
Wpis opublikowany przez Knight Martius
771 wyświetleń
Autor bloga "Spisek pisarzy" (polecam tym, którzy interesują się pisaniem) w jednej z ostatnich notek napisał, że pisarz potrzebuje uznania, inaczej zwiędnie. Nie będzie miał motywacji, żeby pisać. Zatem i ja, żeby nie zwiędnąć, pochwalę się... nie, nie nowym kawałkiem twórczości. Tłumaczeniem jednego kawałka.
Poniższy tekst to angielska wersja fragmentu opowiadania "Toki", które opublikowałem m.in. tutaj rok temu. Oryginał znajdziecie w jednym z bloków po prawej stronie bloga. Chciałbym podszkolić swój warsztat translatorski, więc proszę o opinie tylko na temat tłumaczenia (chyba że ktoś czyta toto po raz pierwszy 
).
A skoro już tu coś zamieszczam, rozwieję wszelkie wątpliwości: w najbliższym czasie nie doczekacie się ode mnie żadnej prozy, z wyjątkiem ew. tłumaczeń. Zdecydowałem się bowiem, świadomie i po przemyśleniach, zrezygnować z pisania. Ogólnie planuję jakoś rozruszać ten blog, ale za sprawą wpisów poświęconych innym tematom, pewnie nawet samemu pisaniu.
Tymczasem - miłego!
* * *
The Calling
When the last snow had melted and the nature begun to wake up, spring has come. For the aves returning from warmer lands it was a start of a new cycle, full of responsibilities as every other, but also pleasures. Especially Hatezi had a specific reason to await this time.
It was a month after melting, another beautiful spring day. When the wind was moving leaves softly, and the birds were sweetening the atmosphere with their chant, a bevy of birdmen from the corvidae?s clan had already ended a morning hunting. The beastmen had their move to a near lake to have a wash when they suddenly heard high pitched squawks. They turned their heads towards the source of these sounds and noticed a figure moving in circles in the sky, with marvellous charm. They were amazed by this sight.
The silhouette belonged to a female aves. Her appearance has foreshadowed the beginning of another calling.
The corvidae started to squawk with enthusiasm while the newcomer was descending slowly towards them, showing entirely her wing-arms, spread wide, and her feathers, brighter than dark blue. Still making encouraging sounds, she landed softly on a forest glade where the birdmen scuffled with each other.
The aves stood in a lofty position and squawked rapaciously. It did not scare the males but made them even more curious. Eventually, the birdwoman lowered her wing-arms slowly and watched the reaction of the bevy, charmed with no exceptions by her slim figure and lovely voice.
?Me Itera,? said she.
The excited aves squawked chaotically, demonstrating their joy. The screech of Itera was enough to silence them.
?Caw! Don?t disturb! Don?t! Caw!?
Hatezi was doing the same that the rest of the bevy: he was loudly expressing his curiosity along with the others, and he became silent with them. However, he was still all fired up when he was looking at those gorgeous feathers, this daring tail? He wished to clatter together with her, to be the chosen one! And probably not only him.
The birdwoman waited a longer moment to let more and more irritating silence to encompass the whole bevy. Eventually, she spoke again.
?Bird beeeastmen?? The first ?e? sounded like cheeping. ?No, not good. I don?t want all. Hunt something, fight. Nature gave you what you have, and I be for beastman who use it good. Crows, are you worth??
The males cawed in chorus.
?Caw! Show it! Dark come and I choose one! Caw, caw!?
The aves were making an unclear noise for a long time, and so was Hatezi. Itera has put herself above the bevy, but it was the point. After all, how many opportunities were there to win a partner? Since the young birdman had left his family and joined the bevy, in which he spent one cycle so far, he participated in eight callings already. It was no shame for him that he did not win any: not until he recently did achieve an adulthood. And there was a little specimen who have been chosen at his age.
The winner left a bevy with his new partner. For the accipitridae, the falconidae and the corvidae, there was the same end: sustaining their species. Therefore, the birdmen appreciated family values, and they were doing everything to make a female choose them herself. And Hatezi hoped a lot that it was him who would be chosen.
* * *
The young corvidae had cleaned his feathers quickly and left the bevy, telling nobody about his destination. Before he flied away, he had seen that the other birdmen got to work, too. They were going on hunt, arranging duels and even making fancy moves: they were making circles in the air, going up and down in spirals, and diving sharply to level the flight just above the ground. The aves had trained a lot of these moves for a long time. Although it was not a new sight for Hatezi, they made a huge impression on him. Subconsciously, he started to feel envy?and fear. They were really prepared to charm the female. And what he had? Nothing. He was not equal to them, he could not win, he would not gain a partner, he should stop?
When he realised what he thought about, he blinked intensively. In which case was he worse than them? He might have not been able to do as much as others but he held in his beak a solution that might make his win certain.
When Hatezi was a nestling, he discovered his odd ability to find places not noticed by others. Nature gifted birdmen with a percipient sight but it was something different. Once, when he had been on his first single-handed flight, he discovered eggs of other corvidae. It was not a typical find: they had laid in a ditch dug out on a ground covered by very leafy bush, so even the bird eye could not have notice them. As Hatezi found out later, they had belonged to the kinsmen who fought over a territory against his parents. They had been convinced that they needed the whole forest for their brood, and that is why they did not want to move somewhere else. However, they had made a serious mistake: they had thought that a good hiding place was enough to ensure safety to their hatch, so they had often left the eggs without protection. The little birdman had told his parents about his discovery and showed the place to an elder male, his father, who destroyed the eggs. By this, he had made the headstrong corvidae to settle somewhere else.
The parents had appreciated Hatezi though, after many meltings, he considered it a coincidence. However, he was still noticing places unseen by others. For example, as recently: some furlongs further there was a rock formation under which a pair of falconidae have laid their eggs. It was needed to look through the area well to notice a nest that had been weaved there. Only the young aves himself did know about what he had found; this is because of a calling why he kept this news in secret.
Birdmen fought for partners in various ways. The corvidae were also bending the laws of nature for their own needs: they were keen on, for example, stealing eggs from birds or other aves. Females were sometimes impressed by these exploits, and Hatezi decided to use this ?sometimes?. He planned to rob these falconidae to obtain a gift for Itera and show his effort in this ritual. In earlier callings, he had just attempted to present what he learnt and, eventually, he came a cropper. If he desired to win, he had to be more cunning than the rest of the bevy. He had to use his untypical ability. Even if it meant he had to conceal a truth from other kinsmen, he did not intent to surrender.
He stopped to watch exploits of other animals and set out, waving his wings regularly.
3 komentarze
Rekomendowane komentarze